[BCHGRL]

Hi timetosave,
I would like to commend you on your honesty and your progress towards your goals - kudos to you and keep it up!

I read most of the thread this morning. I know that it is hard to hear.you The feedback may come across judgmental and self-righteous, but the intent is to help you regain your financial independence. I think that it is honorable that you wouldn't want to drag your husband into a mess you've created. You already are seeing changes from your own initiative, not someone swooping in and helping. Now that is an independent woman!

What worked best for me was to change my paradigm of wants and needs. I only buy something to replace something else. I try to stay away from shopping locations, but when I am there I try to shop with strict discipline. For instance, I might see a beautiful pair of black heels at TJ Maxx. Do I own a pair of black heels? Yes. Do I need to replace the ones I own? No. They stay on the shelf. When it comes to things I don't own (IPOD, etc.) I ask myself, "Is this something I can absolutely live without?" If the answer is yes, I put it down. You can track costs, make lists, etc., but if you are not honest with yourself, it won't help.

Keeping active with this forum helps tremendously because at least you know you are not alone. Plus, there are a ton of get great tips.

By the way, IMA is like our sweet little mom or grandma, and I'm sure if you read any of her other posts you'll find that she is a wealth of knowledge!

Best wishes!
Sara