[meaghanchan]

I'm not married, and have never been so take my opinion with a grain (or more) of salt if you wish.

I'm a big believer in the fact that once a couple gets married, their income and assets become shared. In my opinion the couple should draw up a budget together, and agree on the spending- no matter where the money's coming from, no matter who makes more than who, and without taking any of that into consideration. Just, 'what do we need, what do we want, and how much money do we (together) have'. I know not all couples deal with their money this way.

It seems like there's two issues here: Being jealous of his work perks (which, IMHO, you are not entitled to, because that's just job related, and as you said they're not the kind of things you can take a spouse to) and being jealous of extra money and stuff (poker winnings) that I believe you are, at least partially, entitled to.

I don't think you're being a big baby, but I do think you need to talk about this issue with your husband, and see if you can't work out a solution that is agreeable to both of you. You said that taking some of his money you feel like a leech- but taking none of it, you feel resentful and jealous. I don't know the solution, I just know you can't get to it without letting your husband know how you feel.