Here's my take on this:
When I started coming here and said I had a lot of debt, I got responses similar to the ones you are taking offense to. I had to do a lot of explaining and a lot of clarifying. It is simply because we don't know you and we don't know all the ins and outs. Since then, folks have calmed down a lot with me and I'm getting better advice that is more related to me. I think you will find the same. Please try not to take offense to some of these responses, even though I know that's hard to do. You are really reading with your heart right now. I think "taking charge" had your best interests in mind, but just maybe didn't say it the right way.
Just me being a Libra! Always playing the moderator.
