You know, Bookie, I feel ya.
It was a hot day, and I was next to a supermarket. I really wanted a Gatorade. They're on sale for $1. However, I didn't have to have it (and I didn't get it). But that's not what bothered me. What bothered me was that I felt constrained, as though, whether I wanted one or not, I can't have one.
It's that "can't" that bothers me.
You know what I've learned from this? We (or at least I) started off feeling good about this, but the euphoria and the novelty's worn off. I could continue the challenge again (after I get grocery and gas again), but the next time, it would have to rely on sheer determination.
Again, something that I believe I can do, but... for how long?
I believe for effortless effort to occur, both forces of "Pull" and "Push" has to be exist.
"Pull" as in some kind of external factor that's motivating me to act on it. The classic "carrot in front of the horse" analogy. It could be anything, be it fun or profit, something rewarding to me has to be there.
And "Push" as in some kind of internal factor that's pushing myself to act on it. Be it sheer will, determination, or just being plain old scared and desperate about paying something off. Something within us has to drive us forward on its own accord.
When both factors are present within me, I believe I can live up to this challenge for the rest of my life.
And yet, that's the rub. The challenge started out in "Pull", mostly because of euphoria and doing something that seemed rather interesting. Now that the novelty is wearing off, I have to increasingly rely on personal determination, or "Push". And yet, neither factors are there in full force, at the same time.
And until I can solve this puzzle, I will continue to struggle... as I finish my 5th no spend day.
Well, just thinking out loud. I really have to think some more about this....