[poundwise]

Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. There are so many, I won't try to respond to each of you individually, but I do appreciate every post here. I believe one of the positive things about forums is the ability to get feedback and share ideas and experiences. Thanks.

In this instance, I have determined that this is a genuine need for my mother. I believe that they should have managed their lives and finances better to this point so that they could take care of this themselves, however, they did not. I have, I believe, helped them both find a way to get on track and get motivated to do so. I don't expect an overnight transformation but I do expect to see them be more responsible and start to build some savings.

I believe they are definitely motivated to save an 'emergency fund' and then tackle debt. I don't think they will acquire more debt. Those things are more certain. What is less certain is that they need to learn to live within their means, including saving so as to be prepared for medical, auto, and home maintenance tasks in addition to setting aside money for the future. (Once they are out of debt they are going to open an IRA. At present, they have no savings.) If they can stick to their budget, then they'll be ok, especially once they get rid of debt (except the house) and I hope that they make it to that point in a couple of years.

As for my end, I spoke to both my mother and father yesterday. When I spoke to my mother, we talked about selling things. I told her about one of those drop-off eBay auction sites for a couple of larger items (a set of china for one), we talked about selling some jewelry as scrap gold, and she is supposed to be getting together some books, videos, and the like for me to put up for sale on Half.com for her. IF she pursues this and makes a reasonable and serious effort to acquire funds, and she does get together at least third of what she needs, then we will supply the other part for this expense. This is mainly in order to help them while they are just starting their budget plan. I don't want my efforts in talking to them and helping them recently to be derailed by this added expense so early on. Of course, secondarily, is the simple fact that it is a need and we want to help.

Going forward, I am going to have a much higher expectation for them to be self-sufficient and for them to keep a budget and create some debt relief and savings while taking care of their own expenses, including the 'unexpected' ones. I believe I will set a limit to how much I would even consider helping them (dollar-wise) in the future and I will be very strict and reserved when it comes to helping with money in virtually any case. I will help with ideas, support, and the like, rather than cash. Between my grandfather and my wife and I, we have done the money help thing. We've given them lots of fish. Now we've given them a pole. IF they use the pole and need a fish or two to get by, then we'll do that, but only IF they are using the pole and catching their own for the bulk of the time.

Thanks again for all the thoughts.