[boefixepa]

I've fallen into this trap again and again. Not as badly as you it seems and more with sublings than parents, but my parents know not to ask me for money. I will give all the advice I can. I will help plan, but I will NOT give money. All that gets me is debt. I have siblings that owe me thousands of dollars that I will never see. I don't know why people can't exercise self control, but I'm past the point of sacrificing my stability to help them.

It's not so much about honoring your parents, what about your parents honoring you and your family. Is it right for them to ask for your children/family's security? To me you have gone over and above the call of duty. It's time to say mom, dad, I'm here for you to talk to and consult with, but the bank is closed. You will get no more money from me, end of story. I love you and I will support and help in any way I can other than giving you money. As long as they can guilt you (and that is what they are doing, even if they do it nicely) into giving them money, they WILL NEVER STOP DOING IT! Even if they want to, they won't, because you are always an option! Take the option away and they will be forced to come up with something else.

It will be hard, it may mean distancing yourself from them. They may not like you. But if they aren't will to pick up the rod and fish, what good does it do to teach them? They may stand by your side and even put the worm on the hook, but they are still expecting you to do the fishing.

You can not take away the consequences of their choices! It's like loosing weight, they MUST DO IT THEMSELVES!