[kealina]

i say both depending on ability and responsibility.... i went to an affordable state school and got a partial tuition waiver for joining marching/concert band... after my waiver (33-50% or more) i think my 5 years cost around $10,000 total....my parents gave me maybe $3,000 for the first year, my grandma gave me $500 or so for books since my grades were excellent.... i got some financial aid (like $2,000) one year, and DH (then FI) and i paid for the last $5,000 or so...

i also had $2,000 that i saved up from birthdays, christmas, babysitting, etc from the time i was 16 until i started college... i used that for textbooks and bus passes and any other things like lab fees...
i packed lunch and basically saved money everywhere and graduated with no student loans... we're pretty proud of that...

i will say one thing about helping children out... please try to help out fairly... you shouldn't reward irresponsibility and punish responsibility...both DH and I are natural savers so our parents just didnt' give us as much help as they gave to our spendy siblings... it truly does suck to watch them drink starbucks, jamba juice,buy new clothes, nice things, etc and get hundreds (if not thousands) more than you were given just because you were willing to work harder and sacrafice more... i don't know wheter that means giving out equal amounts or giving more to those that are responsible... i guess that's something that has to be decided by us sometime in the future...
i honestly think that me and DH are more likely to reward the more responsible child a little bit extra vs. just giving all chidren completely equal amounts, although we will try to make sure they all get some help from us...