Dear Bill,
I have read, with sympathy, your quandry with money and am here to help.
I have a few friends at SavingAdvice.com who are willing to assist me.
We have agreed to take your problem (money) and divi it up between us. We have every confidence that this will put an end to any concerns or annoyances on your part. Hey, it is the least we can do.
Please contact me at your earliest convenience and I will provide you the information on where to mail the check...(or you could wire the money) Either way, your (problem) will be well taken care of.
ps...we are planning to throw our first annual "We Love Bill" bash....and would love it if you could attend...please RSVP.