PP little things aren't going to work in this situation, the brother isn't a kid, he's a 29 year old man with a wife, child, house and two vehicles, one in his mothers name! Now the collection agency is after them for the one vehicle so it's just a matter of time before they're after the vehicle in moms name! Brother hasn't worked in 4 months, his wife makes maybe enough to cover the house payment and electric, not much else.
Mom has more going out than coming in, selling what bonds she has monthly to cover the condo payments, she has a loan for 40,000 coming due in July and if she can't refinance it will take almost everything she has left, she's in a BAD situation and is still denying it.
The BIGGEST problem is she ask for help but EVERY suggestion is taken as a personal assault and a "but, but, but" and reasons why she can't do it.
EVERY CC payment is late, brother is using the CC's and not paying for his charges, mom is paying his truck insurance, mom was paying 200 cell phone bills for them, they're adults!
We're weren't pointing fingers at anyone and attempted to make it a "don't look at yesterday, start fresh from today and CUT BILLS and cut off payments for others" but she's obsessing on things like how the banks aren't treating her fairly, she doesn't understand an interest only variable rate loan, the boys need her and need her to help with bills, etc. Oh, and she won't give up her cable.
And yes, since she couldn't control hubby and I with the money now she's trying to suck us in with guilt to help her get out of this and succeeding in turning everyone against each other, it's turned into "well you weren't here to help" from the brother.
I'm sorry, but a parent should raise a child and be proud of them going off to be a productive adult, not want to continually drag them back home in any way that they can which is what she is doing.
Oh, and I've learned the little games years ago with her, they used to bug us about having kids, I finally told her she didn't want us to have kids, I'm a stickler for dicipline with my animals and don't like to be ask why, hubbies a guy that when he gets involved in things he's lost to the world, so I told her if we had a kid either I'd kill it or he'd lose it, lol, she leaves us alone about that now
I am going to be the bigger person and apologize for my attack on the brother when he talked about me to defend himself to mom, he didn't have any right to bring me into it but my exploding and taking his head off wasn't the right thing for this situation. It's not going to be easy to apologize and then NOT point out all his lies again, but I will do it and let it go from there. WE (hubby and I) know he's lying but trying to point that out will just cause more fights, we'll just sit back and sadly watch him hang himself, sad, and somehow he'll turn it around to be our fault again but it won't affect our personal life and that's what matters to hubby and I.
kj