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Originally Posted by Optsol
I'm thankful that we have joint accounts in everything. My humble .02, the separate accounts may actually be hurting you here, as there is no vehicle for joint control.
Perhaps start a third joint account for the "core bills" = every day expenses + savings + debt pay down, and have the individual accounts and credit cards be
on the separate accounts.
We don't have allowances, or limits. We do discuss our purchases (what we're planning on buying, before we buy it) -- helps tons with mediation.
We're both on the frugal side of the spectrum, but I'm certainly the more frugal one. We each have to compromise on occasion, but the communication up front really helps in working things out ahead of time.
I have empathy for your dilemma.
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Oh we tried the joint thing for 5 years. I thught that is what husbands and wives were supposed to do but what while he was buying $500 watches and gym memberships, I was working 2 jobs to make the rent and the car payment. When I confronted him about it, he told me he didn't know why I was working so hard-he didn't ask me to. That is when I knew we had to split everything down the middle and I needed to get a separate account. And things were somewhat under control for a while but within the past 3 years or so, his spending has ballooned out of control and I am the only person who seems to be worried about it.