[2moretrees]

I received this in an email and it gave me a laugh so I thought I'd share it here - it says the author is unkown.

Having trouble sticking to a diet? Why not try the amazing Toddler Diet! Guaranteed success. Think about it, how many toddlers do you know that are overweight?

DAY ONE

• Breakfast - One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.

• Lunch - Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).

• Dinner - A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of stale soda.

• Bedtime Snack - Toast piece of bread and toss it on the kitchen floor.

DAY TWO

• Breakfast - Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vegetable dye.

• Lunch - Half a tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick. One ice cube, if desired.

• Afternoon Snack - Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop In dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on the rug.

• Dinner - A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour iced tea over mashed potatoes; eat with a spoon.

DAY THREE

• Breakfast - Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk: drink half, stuff pancakes in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterday's sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, and put it on the cushion of your best chair.

• Lunch - Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.

• Dinner - Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some coffee.

FINAL DAY

• Breakfast - A quarter-tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of corn flakes, add a half-cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.

• Lunch - Eat crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it.

• Dinner - A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert!