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Originally Posted by CCFREEDOM
Thank you wincrasher. Yes he is cheap. Having a real hard time deciding to end this based on that...In the meantime, I have to deal with my own debt repayments and it would probably be better if I am alone while trying to do this. No one to judge me which is what I am afraid he would do.
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CCFreedom, here is another angle I present here: Why do you see marraige as a goal? Why not keep things as is? You've got your place, he's got his. No cominled funds, no shared assets, liabilities, etc.
Leave marriage for those young people that want to start a family. I doubt you want that, am I right? You don't have to get married to have a companion, and you can give each other power of attorney if life-ending circumstances arise.
And never hold his cheapness against him....this is often a good thing, and frankly, if you were more "cheap" yourself, you'd not be in the predicament you find yourself today.
The good news is that you can be happy and fullfilled being with your BF without marriage....marriage is not going to make him or yourself stay loyal....marriage after the child baring years is just a way for one person to get half of the other's appriciated value on their assets....of course there are religious reason that would compel someone to marry later in life as opposed to having pre-marital fun in the sack...but that reason aside, I suggest you and most of us would be a lot happier staying single, even if we're attached to a significant other.
Look at Goldy Hawn and what's his name (Kurt Russel)...they never married yet had children together, and they never lived together...they chose to keep separate residences (side by side in Malibu), and their relationship has lated decades....the problem with marriage IMHO is the living together part...the cominling of funds, etc...and perhaps during the child raring years this is fine but after that phase in life, I find no reason to get married, and I find myself happier then most married couples....life is good detached ;-)
I suggest you stop looking at marriage as a personal goal...and replace that goal with this one: Personal Happiness...