Quote:
Originally Posted by Seeker
CC Freedom.... I'd have to disagree with the above. I was in my 40's, when I happily married a man whom had no money, had been through a BK, and had education debts on top of a "leased" car (because no one would give him a loan) and no way to pay any of it. No assets of his own because of a totalled auto and lost work, jobs, and outsourcing.
Love can conquer everything if you're both 100% honest and open with each other. NOBODY else can speak for your relationship with your BF; I seriously suggest talking with him about your finances (be 100% truthful), and seeing for yourself if it's truely "you" he loves or the "money" he's saved.
If your financial situation "diminishes" your relationship, you need to find out now before investing any more time with him.
|
If only it were true that love conquers all. It does't and not even close. There are millions of marriages that end each year, and most of them did not lack love; no shortage of love.
They ended because of many reasons, one of the biggest being financial incompatability.
Leave the romantization, the idealization of love to the dreamers, the Beatles, because in real life, love is hopelessly not enough...and you will not find one psychologist, or phsyciatrist that agree with this "love conquers all" dillusion. Don't take it from me...ask Dr. Laura, and any shrink, and family/marriage counselor....they all will tell you that there are many relationships that strain and break under the burden of financial hardships and indescritions, and most of these relationships had oodles of love!!!
What makes strong loving healthy relationships are sound financially compatabilities, because one's financial health is in fact a reflection of one's character, values, and maturity.
This does not mean that all poor folks have bad character. This means that poor folks that live within their means, and are responsible have great character.
Conversely, what I write does not mean that all rich folks have good character...they could have built up their wealth by cheating others.
You will find examples were a couple where one of them is a financial wreck a relationship that works, and they do exist, but this is the EXCEPTION and not the rul!
The good news is that someone that has a financial mess on their hands can renovate, rejuvenate, change and in the end be health, wealthy and wise....
And lets never blame a man or woman for not wanting to marry someone because of that person's financial mess....to do so is often a really bad thing to do.
CCFreedom, the good news is that you can earn your BF's desire to marry if you continue to get your finances in order, and it looks like you are and you will succeed...I just hope you don't blame him for holding off until you get your act together...