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Originally Posted by CCFREEDOM
Thank you Seeker.
I really dont know how my boyfriend will react but he does have some idea of my financial situation. I dont know that I want to tell him the truth about my financial situation. He is very conservative and saves everything he has to the point of not enjoying life cause he lives on needs only. I get a bit jeolous sometimes because he has no money worries...but he doesnt do much for entertainment. So I dont know if this is how I want to live and would rather wait until I know that we have something definite. Now that I am on a budget I dont know how I will explain to him that I can no longer contribute to our meals together since I usually offer (and he expects me to). A bit complicated. He is wonderful man and we get along great..but sometimes wonder if we have a future together.
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Unfortunately "time" will only make things worse. If he's "miserly" now, as he ages he will get more so. Many people do become more of what they are now, at least in my experience; change is difficult. And what's happening in the economy now sort of supports a conservative financial livestyle too -- in all honesty, I cannot say I blame him.
You mentioned possibly marrying him in a year in your previous posts. That worries me. You shouldn't really marry a person without his full understanding of the ramifications of what that means from your side. That's not honest and he will wonder what else you've not been forthright with; he may even feel somewhat resentful that both of you have been together for that length of time and suddenly he's finding out all this new stuff.
To a certain extent he knows.... if you two are really on the same page, you can bet he knows more than you think. Especially if you become quiet as he talks about future plans, or you back away from it. He may want you to talk about what your future plans are.... and what possibly you'd want to do differently.
The real problem is that the more you put this off, the more both of you are disfunctional. Changing mid-stream is bad enough, but you need to explain what you are currently doing to resolve these issues. It's not his problem and you don't want to make it his problem.... but you need some time financially to repair these issues. And it's not going to happen if he's not helping you to change. And by "help" -- I don't mean money help. There are many ways of being supportive.
Instead of going to that dinner and paying half the price; maybe you want rent a movie and watch that together. Or talk a walk in a park. Or just cook something up togther in your kitchen. Or read a book aloud to each other and take turns. I'm sure you and he can come up with things you both like to do once he understands why you're trying to save some money.
If you are not 100% truthful of your financial situation and continue to put on this facade, when do you suddenly explain your behaviorial change? How do you go from paying half the dinner bill, to suddenly explaining that you need to save, pay off some of your debts, and plan for your future. Mid-50's does not leave a lot of time for you either. You're not helping hime to understand that he can help you "save your money" by doing different things together.
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Anyway, I have created both budgets for home and business. My business expenses are $2300.00 which includes a savings account for $800 per month. The credit cards are about $1400 all together and I am planning on paying and additional $1400 each month. I will pay myself $4000 per month for my home expenses and dont plan to buy much until I get my cards paid.
Problem is that right now I dont have much money until I get that Budget flow that I had once. I am really behind as far as having money to fund the budget..just have to hope that my business does very well this week.
I will also have to pay property taxes coming up and its pretty high and I dont have the money either. I took a lot of my savings out to repair one of my rentals and to pay the mortgages while it was empty.
Anyway...I know that once I get the budget going it will all work out...just getting there is difficult right now.
Thank you all for your wonderful advice.
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You have a lot of choices in the sense that you run your own business. Following a plan tends to help a lot and I think that ultimately you'll be fine.
In spite of California's housing situation right now, no one honestly knows where property values will be 5 years from now, or even 10 years. One thing I can say is that California is popular (for various reasons), and when you have a populous state, you still have demand for housing. And in reality, there's no longer a lot of available land to build on.
I don't know how long it'll take for housing to return to it's peak; maybe not in 5 or 10 years.... but IMO it will at some point in time.