Long ago I came to the conclusion that there is no such thing as loaning money to family and friends. It's always a gift. Thinking anything else is rather foolish.
If you can afford to give your family money then give it. If not, then don't. And don't feel guilty if you say no.
All this trying to control other people, make them learn something or "change their ways" is just a waste of your time. People change when they want to. And not always when they have to.
If your mom wants to give her money to your brother, who are you to tell her she can't? It's her money and she can piss it away if she wants to. Eventually she'll be crying on your shoulder about it and that is not the time to tell her "I told you so".
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