As to the question at hand - um no, wouldn't be hired here. Really wouldn't be hired for more minimum wage jobs either (Strictest stress codes I have seen - minimum wage jobs). I think the tattoos and piercings are coverable, but the hair would be the deal breaker at my office. No personal judement, but people want to entrust their finances with boring looking people. It doesn't matter what we think anyway - our clients set the tone.
I used to teach piano - she'd certainly fly as a music teacher (the weirder looking the better? Sign of creativity? Maybe not for the little kids. Depends who you are teaching).
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As to pumping milk (BTDT)- may have no other safe option but fridge. Of course, if I Was worried about safety I'd put a lid on it, and polite people would be more discreet! So that's, er, interesting?
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