Wellspent, I gotta disagree. Sure marriages break down, but it's up to BOTH people in the relationship to work it out.
Marriage isn't about changing and leaving your partner in the dust. It's about changing and working together. When you can't that's when it's difficult. If you can, the partner you had at 20 can still be the one at 50.
And by the way, I don't believe in soulmates, sorry Maat. I believe there are MANY people out there that would work in a relationship with you. It's whether or not you chose to work on that relationship.
Perhaps your true soulmate was meet at 15, but you weren't ready for the commitment, maturity necessary. Then at 30, you meet a great person, and aren't ready. But they aren't your 'soulmate'.
I meet my DH young and inexperienced. We've grown up a lot over the past decade, and it's become harder. Mostly because we've grown up a lot during our 20s, and we've changed.
Does it make us less compatible? It could if we weren't working on us. Maybe people who meet at 35 have it way easier.
Our neighbors meet at 36 and 42. Married within 8 months of meeting, engaged in 3 months. Happily married with 1 kid going on 3 years. Took us 5 years to wed and it's been another 4.5 years. We had to grow up a lot. We're just fortunate we grew up together.
One more thing, OP, I married my DH for his green card. Yeah we were great together but we weren't in a rush to wed. Just so happened it was a good idea for his job situation so we did it.
We barely had an interview with the INS about our marriage. It like hi, you're married? Great, see you later. And we had come in with everything from our 5+ years together. They rubber stamped us because we had already bought a condo together, checking, CC, savings, investments, etc.
And we also know people married solely for the green card. 3 different marriages actually and they all got investigated a lot.
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