ScrimpAndSave, I'm really sorry to hear it. I don't know your financial situation but I wouldn't put too much of my energy into getting all your money back, just do as much as it's reasonable. It's just money, you'll earn it back. The emotional dent through situations like this is what you need to take care of first.
Don't talk to him whatsoever, let him carry the burden of guilt and remorse. You did nothing wrong...and I agree with all that said that it's 100% better that this happened now than after the fact!! you may not see now it but ask anyone who's had kids and were divorced without a prenup.
If I were you, I'd try to get back my money but not make it a big deal. $10k is saving less than $1k a month for 1 year or $500 a month for a year and half. Take care of yourself, go hang out with a friend out of state for change of scenery if possible.
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