[mladyd]

I was someone who took time off after HS and got a job instead. Then I bought a car, got an apartment with a friend, met a guy, got married and had kids. Now I'm almost 50 years old and can honestly say I've been going to college off and on for the last 30 years. I got my AA degree in the 90's and might get a BA by 2012 if the stars line up just right. I'm not complaining but the reality is that life got in the way and I never again had the opportunity to just focus on me for 4 years like I would have had if I went right out of high school.

My 21 yr old wanted to get the heck out of dodge the minute she graduated from high school. With only a vague idea of what she wanted to do she picked a college, picked a major, and headed out. It was the right thing for her to do and she is doing well there.

My youngest will be graduating next year and he doesn't want to go anywhere. He has no clue what he should be doing or what kind of job he would like to have so he plans to stay home, go to the local JC and continue working at the job he has had since he was 16. It's obvious he isn't ready to make any big life decisions yet so it's the right thing for him and he will be fine.

There is no "one size fits all" approach to life. But our rule is that we will only support them while they are going to school. If either chooses not to go to college they will have to support themelves. I think that's fair and works around their different personalities. It also evens things out financially with us paying for our eldest to live at college by giving our youngest extra time to live at home.