Maat, If I'm reading this thread right, you've been married 25 years to a woman that isn't into finances and you would like to be able to communicate with her about them but she doesn't want to. You have lots of ideas and she is resistant and that seems to be making you mad. At the same time, you have shown some numbers for savings and investments, that are very good. You are now threatening her with the loss of her lifestyle (home) because of anticipated future financial problems.
A woman's home is a special thing and it might be very special to her. What I'm seeing from your notes, is that at this point you don't really care what she wants or thinks but you are going to do what ever 'has' to be done. You are treating her as a child. More like a rebellious teen. How about trying to treat her as a wife? Someone you love and care about rather than your adversary. Some people aren't good with finances/numbers/math but they do understand the threat of selling their home and being forced to move.
Some questions:
1. in your drive for financial stability do you make sure that she has an amount that she can spend without discussing it with you?
2. do you have nights out or small vacations or is there never enough money for this (even though the IRA is growing)
3. have you talked with her patiently about the need to move the business and asked her ideas with the idea that no idea is too ridiculous?
I suspect that from what I have read you have been making financial love withdrawals from her for a long time and that she is quite aware that you consider her her a financial dummy. Her only revenge or way to control her side of the situation is to resist and dig her heels in deeper.
May I kindly suggest marriage counseling or at least reading these two books: Love Busters and His Needs, Her Needs.
Yes it is nice to be on the same page with your spouse, but what is more important is that your spouse knows that your love for them is unconditional. You have to find out what her needs are and make a point of meeting them also. One of the reasons that money is listed as the chief cause of divorce is that people use finances to control each other. Married people are supposed to be growing together not out to sabatoge the other.
To all those unmarried folks on this forum, please note that finances need to be thoroughly talked about, inspected, and proved (each's financial integrity) prior to marriage. It would save lots of grief in the future, because you should never enter marriage planning on changing the other--it doesn't work.
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