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Originally Posted by EllaMinnowPee
Hey there- my problem is similar to yours. We have some retirement savings but it's not nearly enough. We were both just hiding our heads in the sand when it came to retirement savings for the first 10 years of our marriage. A few months ago I became interested in budgeting and saving for retirement, but my husband is reluctant to come on board. I brought him to a meeting with our financial advisor and he showed us the amount we'd have to put away each month to retire comfortably. My husband was shocked, but he is still reluctant to make changes in our budget now in order to save for the future. I have always been frugal and don't spend a lot of money on extras, so most of the spending changes will have to be on his part. I'm trying to make changes in the way we spend our money our money so we can save more, (changing banks to get a higher interest rate, etc) but there's no way we will be able to put enough in our retirement accounts each month if he doesn't change his spending habits. I suggested using a "cash-in-envelope" type of budget for categories like dining out and recreation, but he balked at that- it's too inconvenient for him. He's resentful that I am asking him to spend less, and I'm resentful that I have to do all the research and work. It's a stressful time in our relationship now, but I know we'll come through it. I'd rather go through this now than when we're 65. I'm thinking of making a big chart to hang up in our office that tracks our savings. If he can see the positive results of our efforts, I think he'll get more and more enthusiastic about it as we get closer and closer to our goal.
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You sure find out how childish adults can be when it comes to saving for retirement. Since my wife had no desire to talk or plan for the future, I had to tell her it's my way or the high-way. I would much more prefer that we could agree on this, as simple and necessary as it is. How to get a spouse onboard is mystical endeavor.