I would work with a family counselor to set very clear, fair and distinct goals for everyone. Son needs to understand the impact his actions are having on the family and the family needs to understand sons depression so that you can make an informed decision as to whether it is a medical condition, laziness and how to best overcome either/both. THEN, a solid plan can be made. There are ways to turn depression around and there is a way to get the son to understand...it just hasnt been uncovered yet.
Collectively the family should come up with a plan that will work. Ultimately, mom and dad need to be on the same page- uncovering the issues will help get you there.
If son still does not make efforts and parents still are wanting son to move.. mom and dad need to be ready to take a tougher approach.
I wish all of you the very best.
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