Maat,
You're not a family therapist and I think the advice you are rendering is irresponsible.
Translation for the new catch phrase, "tough love":
"I can't solve this problem using intellect so I'll defer to lowest common denominator and throw him out." (brute force)
Maat, I know this is going to sound like "tough love" but you seem to search out oversimplistic solutions for every situation (reduce all debt at all costs) and therefore fall for messenger gurus with oversimplistic promises (Dave Ramsey and this advice smacks of Dr. Phil).
Life is more complicated and compromises and diplomacy has it's place.
You know. . .everyone makes the mother sound like a helpless enabler - maybe she's just in the middle and sees both sides and 2 parties unwilling to make a compromise.
Naw. . .Dr. Phil says this person is an "enabler", right?
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