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Originally Posted by maat55
I must admit, I don't make allowances for depression or disorders. I believe when someone yells at their parents, stays out till 7, lays around and won't work they have a behavior problem of their own choice. Much of which is built upon, poor parenting. I raised my girls teaching them that they will have to go get what they want in life and do it without embarassing the family. Both are class A citizens. IMO, OP needs to introduce some serious tough love.
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I guess I've seen too many instances of "care" for depression, fail, including a friend of mine in HS who attempted sucide and was in the hospital for several months afterward. Her feelings were mostly due to family concerns; or rather her feelings about her family. She would have always been better off without them; and she did go on to live with her grandmother "better" than she ever could with her immediate family.
We all make choices and it sounds as if this "family" is disfunctional by viture of H & W not agreeing or not sticking by any agreements when their son starts over-reacting. 22 years of age is sorta late to introduce a different parental behavior to the son, but then it sounds as if they didn't have to before either.
Questions wrote:
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I only want to see my son succeed in life. I love him dearly and miss the togetherness we shared before college. I can only hope.
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The above struck a chord in me, and "college" seems to be what changed this son's attitude. If I knew what happened in college, all of what I've written might change. The pre-college sounds very different from the post-college. And thereby, until Questions posts what happen in college (if he knows) introducing "serious tough love" could be a mistake in this situation.