The reason my kids did what they were told and grew up responciable is because they knew I would not let them do otherwise. They love me just fine.
Your kids should in this order: Fear you, respect you and if they choose, love you last. Your first responsibility as a parent is to raise productive, honest human beings, not spoiled brats.
Many parents love their children the wrong way. Not preparing them for adulthood is the worse thing you can do. Same goes for parents who let their children become fat and lazy.
If you really want to help this child, treat him like a total stranger and expect from him what you would from anyone else. He wouldn'y last two minutes in my house.
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