I was going to agree with not enabling him to live like he wants with you without any effort. I was going to suggest cutting off the internet and possibly cable. He might just play computer games, but if he has to at least contribute to a service if he wants to use it, he might slowly ease into independence or at least contributing to his life in a positive way. I also agree with talking to a counselor yourself for yourself. They can give you ways of not enabling someone else who is refusing to move forward in his own behalf. It might just be a time thing, or a refusal to work at it at all. A counselor can also help you to go on and enjoy your life in spite of what is going on and keep him from being able to get between you and your wife. Hopefully, his own meds and docs will help him move forward eventually. I think that counseling for him would be a good thing. They say that people recover much better with both medication and counseling. You have to find the right counselor for them and I have known young people who balked at counseling altogether. Good luck. Sounds like you both have a quite a journey ahead. I've had two people in my extended family that used anger and yelling as a weapon to back people off. I have no idea how to respond to that. A counselor could tell you how to deal with that kind of action.
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