I agree with most of what has been mentioned so far.
THere are more things involved here than just asking your son to get a job and to move out. Obviously, the depression has a lot to do with his mitigating factors that unable him to move on with his life. Perhaps a psychological trauma has deeper scars than what you led to believe. I don't know. But your son really needs talk to someone. I could in a way relate to your son because I faced the same circumstances growing up short of being diagnosed with depression. I was scared and didn't want to face the world after high school. I seriously thought I have nothing to offer to the world and to make it my own. Until I joined the military which cured me. Perhaps that's what your son is feeling right now. He needs directions in his life and who else could bring that directions that his parents. He feel depressed because he thinks his a big "Loser"; which explain his dropping out of college. Maybe it was about a girl. You really have to talk to your son to find the root cause. But you can't force the issue about "him" all the time. He will not listen to you or to anyone which harbors so many bad feelings. The way you treat or solve this situation will often dictates how your son will feel towards you long term. Whether that long term repercussion is a negative or a positive experience you should treat him with added respect and understanding (Not that you don't already do that) and just talk to him without the added pressures.
Just adding my two cents.
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