No time to read all the replies, but you and your wife agree on a date. Say 3-4 months out. Give him the date and time of day that day that the locks will be changed. Period. Do it. Otherwise it will never happen. The 3-4 months is to give him time for gainful employment & apartment seeking. Let him stay w/those party friends after that time if he isn't employed or found his place. Sounds hard-boiled, but if you're both ready, you & spouse will have to Make It Happen. Change the locks. Do not give him a key.
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