Quote:
Originally Posted by Caoineag
I consider my and my husband's relationship pretty effortless. Still you need to remember not to take your partner for granted which is pretty easy because its human nature to become accustumed to things. I used the word communication instead of work because the idea of having to "work" to make a relationship run smoothly is a little offputting and totally unhelpful (what exactly do people mean by work at it).
We do qualify as the disgustingly still in love couple even after 7+ years. Course, I don't think that is weird because my entire family tends to form that type of relationship when they marry.
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I used the term "work" because it takes effort to communicate. I know what I'm thinking 100% of the time; but knowing and understanding what my DH is thinking takes "effort" or "work." Work is not a bad thing; you pretty much have to work for anything that you want or need. To get outside yourself you have to work. To think about others you have to work. To communicate, share, live, you have to work.
DH and I share many many interests. Like many others I pretty much gave up the idea of being married because my DH did not come into my day-to-day life until I was in my 40's; I was fully prepared and willing to make the journey through life completely alone if it had to be that way. Both of us did not think that we'd ever meet our soulmate; yet we did.
We do complement each other completely... but in some ways we are complete opposites too. Our marriage is "effortless" and in every sense of the old Country song: Friend, Lover, Wife.... that's our marriage. But there's still some "work" -- in the form of understanding how the opposite gender thinks and approaches life. Men and women do not view the world the same, and communication will always involve some effort of understanding and thought.