The setup cost will be what you make of it. Most baby stuff can be bought used or you can eventually sell for what you paid (since most baby stuff tends to be used so lightly).
I remember there was one baby sling I wanted for travel that I could not find used for the life of me. Paid almost $100 for a dang new one, but sold it for $100 on ebay when we got back from our trip.
Strollers we all bought used, which was nice since it was nice to try out different ones.
I did go a little crazy on the nursery and am not trying to sell the decor/bedding I paid hundreds for. I'll be lucky to get $40 on Craigslist. So all I can say is buy used used used. There is so much stuff for sale that hasn't even been "used."
Likewise, we don't find the "stuff" to be terribly expensive. Though this can really run the gammit. If you are willing to spend thousands, you can easily spend thousands. But their really isn't much a baby needs.
As far as food, our kids eat like adults. But we switched to about 99% home cooking when we dropped to one income, so in the end we probably spend less on food than we used to. Or the same.
Breastfeeding is certainly cheaper than formula BUT a breastfeeding mother eats a lot too. Sounds like won't be an issue for you. But yes, formula is expensive.
Diapers aren't so bad.
Then there's saving for college if it is important to you.
The killers are daycare and/or lost wages if a spouse stays home.
& healthcare.
For the healthcare alone, kids cost us about $500/month.
For the lost wages, they cost us about $50k/year.
But we figured after daycare and taxes there wouldn't be much left anyway. So we'd lose most of the $50k either way.