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Originally Posted by familyof4
Tough spot to be in.. so many factors play into this. Is the sibling young and any chance they will mature and realize their debt is hurting you?
If you are not on speaking terms, is this a temporary thing or you think the relationship is shot?
Is there any other family members that you can recruit to help you talk to the sibling?
Family is important and you are obviously torn about stirring the pot again. Was the "not on speaking terms" initiated on their part or yours?
Maybe you can reach out to them and try to help them repay you. By this I mean, rather than demand all of the money, maybe a payment plan will work. Can they afford even just 200 per month. Will be a long term repayment, but at least you will not be out all of the money.
And if you can do this.. do it with kindness and also get the repayment terms in writing, “BillyBob agrees to repay the loan amount of x over the course of x term for x amount per month”. This way you have in writing that there was a loan and there is no mistake about the repayment terms down the road.
Good luck
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In most cases, when a family member wishes to borrow money from another family member, it's because they couldn't get the money from a bank, or they felt they would be turned down. In either case, they are a financial risk. You should no more lend money to a family member than a bum on the street.
If a family member or friend is in dire straits due to circumstances beyond their controll, you can give them money and if they wish to pay you back, fine. But in many cases, they may have made choices that got them where they are by their own fault, such as buying things they don't need and not saving an EF.