In general I avoid the whole spank or not debate..because of this sort of situation..one person wonders just what sort of leash would be needed to keep a very curious toddler in a seat, while another wonders why it is so hard.
I have both the kind of kid that needs MAJOR reinforcement and I have one that is pretty compliant..easily distracted from danger (not to mention likes to listen.)
Not knowing the exact situation I cannot say weather a coloring book or toy would have sufficed..I can hazard a guess that removing the kid completely wasn't an option, she said 'public office' generally we don't go to public offices for fun..not like this was a restaurant or play center and mom didn't want to give up 'fun'..maybe it was for bill paying or DMV or whatever..these kinds of things need taken care of, and no not all of us have better places to put kids during the time.
Like I said if my one kid wanted that door a firm "No" and a distraction would suffice, if the other kid wanted it, I would no sooner pick up the pen to fill out whatever form in triplicate the 'public office' needed than he would be right back to sneaking out of the chair....I am not a terrible parent to one kid and good one to the other, the kids are just plain different.
Now I can see the situation where a swat would be wrong, and I can replay the scene where a simple swat would be a useful fix. Again we do not know the total situation.
The idea that not going to jail for this incidence made it no big deal is missing the hassle and worry and fear involved when an official comes to your door threatening to take your children away...not only did you have a stressed out day of no one listening while you had to do some annoying govt business you have someone telling you you are a terrible parent for NOT letting your kid play with a dangerous door (a door leading to where? ever lose a kid behind a door in less than 5 seconds?)
The interference of govt officials hits very close to home... if I do not register my son next year there will come a cop with a gun to ask why my 7 year old is not in school..... Yes I am serious, it has happened before, and can happen even if I do register and someone sees my kid out and decides to call CYS..after all to the average American "kids belong in classrooms".
I am not saying CYS doesn't serve a useful purpose, there are cases of teachers, leaders, drs and such finding legitimate reasons for abuse and calling in the system to try and help. I am just saying any call should be made based on a big danger to a child, and the occasional swat is not a big danger...constant broken limbs (unrelated to public sports), burn marks, withdrawn child and no medical help being offered, ect, these are a MAJOR problem...
swatting is closer in 'pain' to a time out, or missing dinner. Time outs can be abused (5-10 minutes is a good cool down, banishment for days at a time is neglect) just as skipping meals (one meal wont hurt, lots is neglect) Spanking can easily be abused..a swat on a diapered bottom seems to connect the pain = bad for some kids, major hitting, shaking, twisting, use of burns, cutting, these are major abuse and need the attention of an offical.
Not that I generally use skipping meals as a punishment, nor do I use a spanking if other options work, but I do see these items as 'gray'. I know plenty of folk who hate time outs (my favorite form of discipline) ... some see it as pointless others see it as abuse, or even the opposite of the 'right thing to do'. all these theories have valid arguments... and all parents have to pick the one that makes the most sense with the children they have. (for example my youngest doesn't respond well to time outs...)
As a society we have polarized so many things that are really a personal choice.. unproven to be right one way or another, yet many feel the need to force their own side on others. If you can connect emotion to the subject you can get everyone up in arms. Yet with many issues the 'terrible problem' talked of is not often the normal situation.
BTW physically restraining a child has lead to calls to cys as well... ("let go mommy your hurting me"-never mind that mommy is keeping kid from running into the street..the call of a hurt child sends all to worry)
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