Opt for alternative experiences for you and your guests, like a smaller intimate gathering, rather than a huge blowout.
Peruse forums and listservs like craigslist.com and freecyle.com for amateur pros (musicians, florists, cake specialists, photographers, seamstress, etc) breaking into the field trying to make a name for themselves. College campuses or vocational training schools like beauty schools offer opportunities for connecting with someone who can work with your vision.
Opt for non-white wedding dress.
Learn to do your own makeup using mineral makeup forums or stores like Sephora or Mac or makeup counters to do a trial run--ask the ladies to show you some tricks and tell them you are going outside for half an hour to see how the makeup "sets" before you purchase it.
Use ebay for items needed.
Use friends who have skills like photographers and graphic designers to make invitations with handmade paper ordered online.
Explore interesting sites like yachts or galleries or barns for the ceremony and/or reception.
And never use the word "wedding" when you approach a vendor. Say you are arranging your parents' anniversary or a kid's graduation party to get an initial quote on sites or services.
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