I think Debbie's situation works for her and I'm sure many others follow a similar situation. I do however, believe there are caveats to her situation. And I'm sure she'll address them when they occur.
The one situation I see happening with not ever mixing finances, is what happens if one spouse gets disabled and can't work? Or if they have children and one spouse chooses to stay at home? Or what happens if one spouse is laid off? And they can no longer afford their portion of the bills?
I think that it's not necessary to share everything (I do but heck it's habit), but if you are older and get involved with someone I can see how DIFFICULT it could be. Even in the case with the OP.
NO she should not pay off his student loans or CC before marriage. However, upon marriage, she can't exactly expect him to pay for that out of his income complete and not have their finances mix. That's a lot of student debt. If they wanted to get rid of it fast, say she supports the household 100% and his income goes to debt.
But then after 5 years what if they split up and his debt is 100% paid off and the money she spent "supporting" the household is gone?
It's not always a black and white answer. So it really depends on the couple and situation they are in.
My in-laws never mesh finances. It does NOT make for a happy marriage to be constantly bean counting.
And how they paid for their kids? They often times didn't or gave two separate gifts. We got $2k, $1k from each parent for our wedding present. Check from my MIL and Check from my FIL.
Trust me it was a bit weird, I don't care how "happy" the marriage is. But they are like roommates with special benefits.
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