I'd recommend sitting down with your fiance and coming up with goals first -- short-term, medium-term, long-term. Once you come up with those goals, you can find out how much you need to save. Then look at all the options available to both of you and find out the best vehicles for meeting those goals. For example if his retirement plan offered a match and yours does not, you'll probably want to take his advantage of his plan first. Or if the Roth IRA is a better option than similar plans in the UK, you should probably take advantage of that.
As long as you've both thought it through and agreed to the plan, I don't think you'll have to worry about the fairness issue.
One comment concerned me though:
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We did discuss him opening his own 401K (or equivalent for UK) and him transfering a certain amount from each check to it. He hasnt done this and references his flat in England as being his retirement fund (double in value in 5 years and only going up).
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If you're going to put your eggs into one basket, I wouldn't make it real estate (and especially just one apartment). A diversified stock fund blows away all other investments over the long term.