First of all, your charitable giving should be a budget item, just like any other line item. It gives you an idea of what kind of money to spend and it does make it easier to say no when someone tries to guilt you out.
Second of all, you need to get a handle on your values. What tugs at your heart? What burns ya? I find that the emergency itself tugs at my heart, but I know that everyone else donates to that. I value giving long term and anonymously - that's just my thing. Didn't give to the Red Cross, gave to the United Way Katrina Response Fund.
Third, check your charity out, keeping in mind that the scammers use similar names for well-known charities.
http://www.guidestar.org is another excellent resource.
Fourth, if you itemize for taxes, give by check or credit card to get the receipt.
FWIW - It is true that the Red Cross has a history of not distributing *all* funds donated for a disaster that during that specific disaster. The Red Cross (like most non-profits) has a history of keeping a reserve for the next disaster, otherwise they would have to wait to get funds before they could act. For example, its likely that some "leftover" donations collected from the tsunami are being used in Katrina.
IMO, paying for administrative expenses in and of itself is not bad, if the expenses are within your tolerance because its likely that the dollars used keep the lights on and pay the salaries of folks doing the work. Its what doesn't burn me
.