[vsjhoc]

Originally Posted by Joan.of.the.Arch

I may be in a minority, but I never even thought that people who are not yet legally divorced should even be dating. Yet this guy is getting ready to move in with someone and he won't get the divorce until July? You first said "recently divorced," but it doesn't sound like he is divorced at all. Even "legally separated" is still married.

Have they been dating long---As in while the guy and his wife were still living together and before the process of divorce was begun? That would be a big red flag to me.

Do you think your friend knows what financial commitments this guy comes with at the present, or after his divorce? I think she should know before moving in together. Also understanding how he intends to and actually does follow through on those commitments are the kinds of things I would want to know about a person before moving in with them, much less having kinds with them. She can learn a little bit about what life might be like with him long term by looking at his present and at his record, so to speak. (Not to say that people cannot change.)

All other things aside, I do not think that being 50 precludes thorough, energetic, quality parenting, nor do I think that 20 years age difference is insurmountable. I think matching values and character is far more important.

If you're in the minority, then I'm right there with ya. Agree 1000% with everything you said.