Quote:
Originally Posted by benosayi
It is tacky and tastless to ask for cash. I went to a wedding that stated on the invitation, monetary gift are appreciated. Mind you they must of spent 25,000 on the wedding and took a cruise on the queen mary for their honeymoon. I got a gift and the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth.
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Benosayi, I think it's great that you gave them something that you wanted them to have, but please excuse me if I'm wrong, I thought the intent of gift giving was pleasuring the receiver? I do think it shouldn't make you feel bad though.
I have this same discussion w/my Hubster all the time. Just gifting someone with something he wants them to have doesn't always equate out to the happiness of the recipient. How about giving the person what they want or need and increasing their joy level?
He likes to give what he wants people to have - electronics. I, the receiver in this situation, have a very tiny electronic threshold and it does not make a good gift for me as I could care less about having any! He does it with everyone he desires to gift. So, to me, that means he's more interested in pleasing himself than actually getting the receiver a gift that truly reflects them and their tastes.
Anybody else have any thoughts on this?
IMHO- If I personally was going to feel like gifting that couple any kind of gift was going to leave me with hard feelings I wouldn't have gifted them at all. Maybe you have inside information, but my first thought was "Who knows, maybe the wedding and the very nice honeymoon were gifts as well?"
We have a timeshare and we will likely, among other things, be gifting our kids and their future brides w/a couple of weeks each at some very high end resorts. No additional out of pocket expense for them or us except to give them a bit of cash for the groceries. Any outside the walls
fun such as sightseeing will probably have to be funded by them
but they'll have really fancy-schmancy places to stay at and say that they are going. Doesn't mean they still wouldn't need cash to start out life together. And, we won't be picking out the place. They'll pick out which resorts they want from the ones we have available - thus making the recievers of the gift happy.
I need to go see what Mirriam-Webster or dictionary.com says about the definition of the word 'gift'.
Here - this came from dictionary.com under gift and expresses the
pleasure of the recipient sentiment I'm trying to convey here:
"A gift is something given whether by a superior or an inferior, and is usually designed
for the relief or benefit of him who receives it."
So, while many of you seem to come from homes or cultures that think asking for money is tacky, can you explain to me how you rationalize the gift registry? Isn't that them asking for what they want? What will give them the most joy? Because it's hidden behind a gift the money aspect doesn't come in to play? Those who register are asking for what they want - why don't you consider that tacky?
Here's kind of how I look at it - If THEY don't think it's tacky, then who am I to say?
If I want to gift them I'll try to go with what they desire if I possibly can. If not, then I might just have to forgo gifting all together.
If I can't give w/joy and them receive w/joy then why are we doing this gift-dance at all?
If my soon to be married friends were horse lovers and needed or wanted feed & tack for their horses and asked for that, it would please me to be able to assist them in their pursuit for happiness by gifting in a way that
would please THEM as well and MOST OF ALL. Becasue in my way of thinking, the day isn't about me and what makes me happy, but THEM.