Well, first off congrats on having a daughter that understands that money doesn't buy happiness!
Second, I'm not familiar with the etiquette of a bat mitzvah, but I would think that if she isn't comfortable with getting an expensive gift, then that should be made clear. If the day is for her, then I think her wishes should be respected.
Does she feel strongly regarding any certain charities? Maybe a donation could go to that particular charity or organization in her name. Then maybe something could be engraved with the date, reason, and giver of the gifted donation.
Again, I'm sorry if this isn't any help. I really don't know much about the occasion, but I hope that everything works out and she is able to enjoy herself!
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