SmileyBear, I think you know what you have to do in order to protect the family. So, the issue here isn't knowing what to do but mustering the courage to do so. I think many if not most here have been through situations like that, and for what it's worth, we can relate to you well. We are on your side.
I say do what you have to do. Let your husband decide for himself whether he wants to come along or be left behind. He's an adult, but clearly not part of the team. He really needs to work out his issues and communicate with you better. Become a part of the solution rather than the problem....
But again, that's something he will have to decide for himself. As for you, you are doing the right thing. Try your best to communicate and work things out with him, but in the end, you have to do what you have to do, and that is to protect the family.
Oh, and yes, you DID get lucky.
This is a very supportive community. They helped me through my tough times too.