Quote:
Originally Posted by CouponAddict
I just do not know how to get my DH on the same $ saving mind set, so I am in a prevent fallout mode. That is why I want to find a way to reduce the temptation of the unrealistic credit card limit, or if I cant do that to reduce the aftermath.
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There are two ways you can go about this. One is to try to protect yourself from the actions of your DH by limiting your liability, trying to restrict his spending, etc. IMO this will not work, because you have already said you are together in this marriage, and because you cannot force someone to change, they have to want to change. The other way is to appeal to him with the truth: you two are in this marriage together, both emotionally and financially. The fact is, whether you are legally liable for his debt or not, his spending affects you. If he has to put money towards a credit card that he has maxed out, that is money that can't be saved for retirement or down payment on a house. You need to appeal to the side of him that wants to save you from living in the gutter (I think most people have this side to them). Tell him how anxious his spending makes you and that you are worried that he is not on the same page as you. You really may have to pour your heart out to make him listen. You may have to compromise as well by giving him a certain amount of fun money that he will not have to report to you.
Once you are in agreement you can write up your plan together. Write down short-term goals (stay on a weekly/monthly budget, avoid impulse spending outside of fun money, etc) and long-term goals (save for a house, save for retirement, etc). Once they are written down, both of you sign the page and keep it somewhere that you can look at it from time to time. Then you really have something concrete that you can point to if there is a question about spending. You may want two copies so he can take one when he is deployed. Good luck!