cashqueen: Agreed on the getting offended. I don't put much stock in the so called "mommy wars." Yes, I suppose we could do it on just one salary if we had to, but I don't want to. My benefits (health, retirement, etc) are much better than DH's. Plus, I work at a college and part of my benefit package is full tuition at my school or half of my school's (currently over $40K a year) tuition at any college or university my children want to attend. That is something I don't want to give up.
Aside from the money, I want my son and daughter to see their mom as a successful professional who loves them unconditionally, but also has a career. We know that we don't get to spend much time as a family, so we make what we do have work for us. That means dinner at the table together every night, and no tv while the children are awake. DH and I read, play and do puzzles with the kids every night. DS helps us cook dinner (DD is still to young). I know that I am a better person for working. I don't have it in me to be a SAHM.
The "I don't want a stranger raising my kids" sort of rankles me a bit. Our day care provider isn't a stranger. She is "Auntie Peace." She is special. Every year her house is FULL of cards at Christmas and her birthday from families and adults who went through her care. When her MIL died the house looked like a funeral home with all the flowers that people sent for a woman who they had never met. Peace and her husband had a memorial service at their house for the MIL last summer. (MIL lived in Ghana as Peace and her husband are African.) I think that almost a hundred people (including us) showed up for the service because we love "Auntie" and "Uncle" so much.
Anyway, that was a bit off topic. Sorry for the detour.
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