Quote:
Originally Posted by aida2003
I think your financial wellness should be defined not by how much income you make, but how much you keep. But money is not a good means to find friends, IMO.
I remember when I came to the U.S. 10 years ago, I lived with a well-off American family, and beside babysitting, I used to go out, of course. Once I met a guy from my country in a club. Next day I mentioned him to the family. The first question was "What does he do?" I said "He's a painter". They were not impressed by saying "he doesn't make much." Huh?? What do I care?!! I was just happy to meet a new face who happened to be from my homeland.
So, then it was my first glimpse at the American culture that it seemed judgmental to me.
Unfortunately it has changed in my country since the system changed and now people get jealous if you tell how much you make and expect more presents or parties from you based on that money. If you save, then they think you're being very cheap. Oh, well, I just avoid conversations about money.
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Well...welcome to the world where any observation that does not have built-in modern, mainstream American culture assumptions will be received with hostility and accusations of judgementalism, snobbery and the like (see above). You will notice the rule does not apply both ways; consequently, said family saw nothing "judgemental" in judging someone who makes little as being "not so good a catch".
I have noticed many Americans - not all, of course - are highly sensitive to the slightest implication that what their mainstream culture does or believes in may not necessarily be the cup of tea of people from other cultures (see the "pick-up truck hysteria"). But then again, the entire Plant is on its way "THERE" so it is no surprise that your co-nationals are becoming so sensitive about money issues. Soon your nice painter friend will be a "nobody" even in the eyes of your formerly non-materialistic co-nationals. Yes, it's a shame and like you said, you can't really win.
But yes, I have had very similar experiences with those described by people from other cultures, OP included.