[pearlieq]

You're very smart to be thinking of money and love together.

You can't really really always control who you fancy--the heart wants what it wants sometimes.

But you have 100% control over who you choose to join your life with. Even if I did have "true love" with someone, I could never have married someone who was terminally irresponsible with money and wasn't willing to improve. It definitely matters!

I wouldn't want that life. I wouldn't want the permanent stress and conflict that went with it. You can care for someone very much and still know that you would not be able to be married to them.

It's not much different from falling for someone who has a drinking or drug problem. You may love them, but hopefully are sensible enough to realize that they are not going to be a good marriage partner if they're not willing to address their problems.

Love and money can definitely go together. There are plenty of members here (myself included) who are very happily married and also have their financial house in order. The key is finding someone responsible who is willing to work as a team to achieve your future goals.

They don't need to be perfect when you first get together (my dH definitely wasn't) but as long as they're willing to accept that there's a problem and actively work on changing it, you can make it work.