While I imagine she has no interest in knowing the financial picture based on what you said, you might try a simplified version IE:
total monthly 'bills' (mortgage, electric, water, insurance, medical etc) +total shared fun (cable TV, internet, ect) + minimum savings (go with 20% combine retirement savings with 'regular') and then show what is left.
Four simple numbers the 'leftover' is your splurge amount..she gets some you get some...that way she isn't looking at a 4.5K check wondering why she only gets 350, she is looking at say 1K and seeing the three way split (350 for her 350 for you, 300 for joint benefit savings) Might make it more acceptable to her (though you might find she wants to skip the 'extra' savings and with 8months already put away I think it is prolly worth it to compromise.
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