Quote:
Originally Posted by Scanner
Okay. . .my hat is my hand and I am askign for advice because I really don't know what to do and I may not show it a lot - but I really respect you guys as people. And sorry it's off the subject of finance.
First of all, I want to say, my oldest son is nothing like me. He's not obnoxious like me, he's very sweet, mild mannered, good athlete. involved at school - never in trouble at school other than talking a little too much sometimes (okay, he is like me a little, ha, ha).
Anyway, we have had this problem with a neighbor. They have 3 boys, one who is 13, one who is 8 and hte other who is 6. The 8 and the 6 year old constantly pick on my 5 year old (who is like me).
Now. . .the 5 year old can actually handles himself pretty good most of the time but we have told them over and over to just stay away from these kids.
I have had tried to have diplomatic discussions with the father and have said my son is at fault and I will keep him away from your kids as much as possible. But. . .they bait him and he's only 5.
Well, they were all out playing some made-up game today (I was out) with an empty water bottle. The empty water bottle hit the youngest in the finger and he cried and went in and got his brother.
The older brother who is 13 charges out without any warning and punches my oldest son in the eye (giving him a little shiner). Total sucker punch/assault/battery. I think my 10 year old was just shocked (and scared because he's older). Even all the other neighborhood kids were spooked by the whole thing.
The father can't be reasoned with. . . he thinks his kids do no wrong even when I am willing to accept 80% of the blame. He has an "Old school country" ideal (they are from the Dominican Republic) that they are just to defend themselves with force.
Now. . .I got home at 11 p.m. and naturally wanted to go pound on his door but I tried to cool myself down.
My wife is all upset tonight - she's crying and wants to leave the neighborhood (McMansions are too close together - it is hard even under the best of conditions). I told her I was bullied when I was young too and I think I turned out okay - it's a right of passage, as sad as it may be.
I was threatened a lot as a kid but I don't ever remember getting hit, except one tiem in the stomach.
Still, half of me wants to call the police to just make a point. My son just keeps saying, "IT's no big deal" - I am not sure if it's because he fears further retribution if I overreact. He doesn't have much to say.
Maybe I should just let it slide. . .in fact I would if he was the same age. The fact he is 13 really bothers me though. Not to doubt that my son will probably be marked as someone who will take a punch.
My 5 year can hold his own. . .my 10 year old just doesn't have that "Eye of the Tiger" but then again, I can't blame him against someone bigger and older.
Well, thanks for listening and I appreciate any advice.
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I think I'd take my son in hand and go over there and meet and talk with the father and just have the two boys talk in the two father's presence.
If the boys father prevents that from happening, then you might tell him that if it happens again, you will go to the police.
A boy 13 years old has got to learn that violence will not be tolerated especially with someone 3 years younger.
Unfortunately ignoring this may lead to further abuse. You should in one way or another let the father/mother know that the next time will not be tolerated.
At least IMO which may be old-fashioned too.