Quote:
Originally Posted by Scanner
Cicy,
A lot of this depends on the religious beleifs too. The Catholic Church for instance, beleives the sole reason for marriage to exist is to pro-create, finaances be damned (no pun intended).
So marriage at 21, followed by 8 kids is a life devoted to God.
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Wow, I just *cannot* let this one go by! We converted to the Catholic Church two years ago, and this statement is just NOT TRUE. Sorry, but this is how they get a bad rap!
The Catholic Church *is* against most forms of artificial birth control, especially the pill, because a fertilized egg (i.e. a miniature human being who already has a soul in their belief) may be discarded by its intended action. However, you are free to use NFP, which is about 99% effective, when used correctly, even *better* than the pill.
The whole gist is that you and your spouse are supposed to talk about and pray about this *monthly* and decide at that point if this is a good time to open the opportunity for life. If you think it is, and you have no serious reasons for not having a child, you go ahead. If you have a serious reason, INCLUDING FINANCIAL PROBLEMS, you are able to use NFP for that cycle, without fear of sin, or any kind of disapproval from the Catholic Church.
Your statement is simply wrong, sorry, but it is, and I cannot let it go unchallenged.
There are TONS of Catholic members who use NFP and do not have 8 or more children. I personally know at least 5 women right now who would LOVE to be blessed, and the Lord has just said no. For someone to look at their families and judge them, is so sad. They are open to life, but it is not to be. :-(
Many Catholic families *would* be larger, but they have secondary infertility. I am hoping right now that I am not one of them. :-( Your comment hurt me. I would love to have eight children, and it may not be in the cards for me. I will be 35 in June, and my oldest is now 14 1/2.
For the record, I married at 19, had our first a year later, next at 25, next at 32 and my youngest just turned two. We were very low income for years, but we stuck to it and bought a house after saving our money. Luckily, we bought just before the boom. Our houses' latest worth, even with the 15% losses we have seen here, is more than double what we paid. We drive used cars and shop at thrift stores. We have done well, our average income is about $45,000. We live in MD, which is expensive. We don't have a huge retirement fund, but my dh just became eligible for a 401K at work, which matches to 4%, and 50% for the next 2%. We plan on funding it fully.
My teenager is more expensive now, especially since we homeschool, which means lots of gas expenses for driving (no free bus) and classes/curriculum cost a lot too. He will start college classes next year at the local community college, and hopefully have the better part of an AA degree when he *graduates* from high school. He plans on being an engineer, as he likes to work with robotics.
We have a lot of other expenses too, but we keep them as low as we can, and go on with life. You plan for what you can, but you can't anticipate everything! I would never have planned my life like this at 19. I never knew it could be so great! :-)
Lea