Quote:
Originally Posted by pearlieq
Some people (and I think it's really to their and society's detriment) find it abhorrent to think or talk about kids in terms of money.
My opinion is the children are luxury purchases and should be treated as such. I don't believe they are a "right". They are a responsibility and should be undertaken only when one is confident they can be supported in an acceptable manor WITHOUT government aid.
Government aid is there to protect for the unexpected and I'm all for it, but I think it would be wrong to plan a pregnancy knowing you would need aid to support the child.
"Acceptable manor" is a vague term. My definition is that they have a decent, stable residence (doesn't need to be big or fancy, just warm and habitable.), healthy food in their bellies, and appropriate clothes (again, not fancy, just warm and functional). Everything else is gravy.
If someone is confident they can provide a decent home, food, and clothes, I don't see anything wrong with having children, whatever age they might be.
I do believe, in general, that it's best to delay having kids until at least the mid-late 20's. Older parents are often more financially secure, in more reliable relationships, and generally more mature. However, this is not always the case, and millions of folks have kids young and things turn out just fine.
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I agree wtih everything up till the age bit...age is just a number..it is a lousy choice to determine when a person should read, lousy to determine when a person should be able to balance a checkbook, or support themselves, and a lousy factor to determine the age of procreation.
Now there can be some general statements...for example statistically healthy children walk around 1...so if you have a 3 year old who can't walk, you prolly have a problem (therapy can do wonders). Statistically the womans body is not able to support a fetus safely before about 18...so having a kid much earlier is usually trouble for the baby's health. same goes for much older women (not sure the top statistical healthy age though)
And statistically if you cannot support yourself before you get pregnant, you prolly wont be able to support the kid either! As to what age that happens..no clue. We all know folk in their 30s or 40s who cannot make ends meet. Age is nothing but a number.
My biggest issue with folks having kids early is that whole idea that marriage is only for having kid, humph. I do love my kids, but I know not all folks need nor want kids. I also love my chocolate, not everyone wants that either.