I think you said you have an allowance for yourself, right? That's a great step...when my wife and i started our budget, we put in "blow" money, because we knew we were going to spend some money on something, so we better plan on having some cash to do it with (so as not to screw up the rest of the budget). We set an amount each month, and half was hers/ half was mine. We could spend it or save it for a bigger purchase, for ANYTHING, without feeling guilty or having to ask the other if it was ok to spend the money. Knowing it was there to just spend, helped, because we did not feel we were completely denying ourselves.
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