[36Rock]

Thanks to everyone for your welcomed advice. Let me quickly answer a few questions before I comment on the status of "Refinance or not".

1) The car payment is high, I had just purchased a new car right before my son's car was totaled and we had to take over the debt. I have checked into selling and getting a cheaper car. We would loose a lot of money doing so (the down payment) because it's fairly new the blue book value would not give me enough to buy another car. Then I would be upside down on that car note. No money to pay cash for one either. We do own a truck that is paid for, we always have one vehicle paid, never two payments. We did have 3 cars, the 3rd was sold and paid on this debt. You have to understand the debt was $25,000 to start with, we have paid 10K so far.

2) we have whole life insurance, part of the $75 does goes into a savings part. We are checking into whether or not we can get the savings money out. Also we have had this policy for over 20 years would not want to change. Don't think at our ages that would be a smart move at all.

3 Extra cost I didn't mention before is $75 for my mothers yard maintence. She is 80, she cann't afford to pay it herself. I am also her main care giver. We where there this weekend and had to remodel her bath. I realized that I do more in financial support than just the yard care. I'm purchasing several meals, dog food etc., extra gas for trips to her house (25 mile one way) every other day. She lost her cain at wal-mart, I had to replace it.

4) I can roll the 4K onto a 4.99 card and plan to do so if we don't refinance. Also will focus on the 4K first because it has interest attached. Also stop paying extra on my currect mortage and pay that extra $50 to the debt if you decide not to refinance.

5) We are both montly paid. Even my extra jobs are montly paid.

6) I have DSL and a ISP because of my main full time job. My local small ISP handles my email, the DSL is just for the fast connection part. They give me one filtered and one not filtered so that no file I get is blocked. All my work comes and goes through email, on certain days if my email goes down my company loses a quarter milllion. A big ISP doesn't care, my local small ISP does. If DSL is down, I can use their dial up if I have to.

So far the refinance is on hold while we take a good hard look at all our options this week. I really don't want to refinance or roll a 0 interest debt into my home. But I also want my life back to normal. Thank you CICY33 for noticing, I am burned out. This debt is not something my husband and I did, our lifestlyes did not create this problem. What we did was the right thing, we didn't give the wrecked car back to the finance company and say "sorry we are not paying for it" We stepped up and and took responsibly and we are making our son do the same as much as he can afford.

I've been asked to do another job (which gives me 5 jobs with my part-time business!) which is good for the money, not sure what they want to pay yet, but is it good for me?. I'm stressed out now, how will I fit more into my life? When do we stop? What happens if my mother needs more help? I'd like to spend more time with my grandkids. Do I work all these jobs for next 3 or 4 years and my littlest grand child is then 4 or 5 and I've missed it? Should I have to give up my nice car when I earn it and pay for it? Where is the line in the sand drawn?

Ahg....... yes it's driving me crazy.